Zayra M.
 
Radiant Treasures
Being alone in a garden ofgreen can have its greedy consequences.
As you toil in the garden,you get a whimsical visit.
Alarmed and scared youscurry up the arm of a leaf holder.
As you hang in the tree inmute,
They run beneath you likeants.
You listen and you hear.
Open sesame is what seems toappear.
The call from the word opensa hole in God's creation.
Filled with radianttreasures.
You listen and you hear.
Open sesame is what seemsto appear.
And the hole in God'screation disappears.
As if it were in illusion.

Humans oh so greedy.
Take some, they wont notice.
Jubilant about your treasuredo you flaunt it or be discrete?
Humans oh so greedy.
Also over use their power.
And end up with unwantedconsequences.

Trust can get the best ofus.
And being betrayed by a lot,but not by a loyal one.
She saved you twice and youchose to wed her.
Your son is happy and so areyou.
Back to toiling in thegarden of green.
But greed and curiosity willhave to leave.
jarvis coleman
2/10/2011 10:28:17 pm

Girl i loovveee yo momma !!!!

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Ms. Miller
2/13/2011 09:53:14 am

I like that you make a sincere effort to use figurative language, and you try to connect the Ali Baba story to a larger theme of human greed.

I'd like to see a stronger title because your last stanza doesn't seem related to the title at all. Also, the last stanza seems a bit cryptic. You jump too quickly from the untrustworthy brother to the heroine new wife. It's a bit confusing.

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